Loneliness has probably been one of my biggest struggles through my pregnancy so far. So I’m a bar manager in a smallish town where everyone in the industry knows each other and that basically is your friendship group as you find anyone not in the industry just doesn’t understand that your weekends are normally on a Tuesday/Wednesday rather than Friday/Saturday so you find yourself grouping with the people who work the same days and shift patterns as you. However those people -as real as they seem at the time- are not friends but are just in fact drinking buddies of convenience as I found out the hard way when I announced my pregnancy to the people I thought were my friends and got dropped like a tonne of bricks. I don’t think a single one of them has spoken to me in months, because I am no longer able to go out drinking until the early hours I am no longer interesting, or convenient to them. I wonder if they feel guilty? It was very difficult at first because my ex boyfriend wormed his way into the group which I felt was to make sure I would be isolated and they were happy to have him as a replacement for me, I felt like I had done something wrong by being pregnant, I felt abandoned.
Just as I was starting to pick up a little bit and accept these people weren’t friends that i’d lost more people from my past or school started coming back into my life, these people were real and genuinely wanted to spend time with me because they liked me rather than everything having to be fuelled by alcohol. Things just started getting better and better from there and I’m now in a really positive place with a handful of true friends, but I would much rather have found out about the fake friends early on than introduce them into my child’s life to have them disappoint us both.
Does anyone else find that you lose friends when finding out you’re pregnant?